Dear
Jenny,
Seven years (2008) ago I was diagnosed with a
pituitary tumor. At the time I was only twenty and had just been dating Josh
(my now hubby) for two months. I had been living on my own for the last few
years and was in no way prepared for news like this. For several months I saw a
neurologist and finally was referred to an endocrinologist.
Honestly I didn't know what to
expect walking into this appointment. Dr.Hao
came in having already reviewed my chart before my appointment and asked me “why
are you just now coming to see me?" I told him that i had been seeing a
neurologist and she didn’t feel that this was very serious. He looked at me with the most sincere heart
and informed me that I needed to be up at OHSU for brain surgery ASAP!
"EXCUSE ME?" "UMMMM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!" I was in
utter shock! I sat there thinking, "I'm only twenty! How can this be
happening? Brain surgery!?" Needless to say at that point everything moved
very quickly.
My endocrinologist
made a call to OHSU telling them I needed to be seen quickly and that we've
already wasted too much time. Eleven days later I was scheduled to see the Neurosurgeon
and discuss the plan for brain surgery.
March 15, 2009 was a
day that changed my life forever! It's a feeling and moment I’ll never forget
as I sat there listening to this doctor tell me all the details of what’s to come and
how, in these kind of situations where there’s a tumor on the pituitary...there’s
a 70% chance I will not be able to have children on my own. My heart sank! As I
turned my head away from both Josh and Dr.Delashaw, my eyes welled up with
tears. My heart broke at the news. "70 % chance of not having
children....NO NO NO! This can't happen. I want children soooo BADLY! I've
wanted to be a mommy since I was 4 years old. How...what...why...why is this
happening?" everything after that I didn't hear. I just kept replaying
what he had told me. I left his office that day feeling crushed, defeated and
unworthy. The surgery was scheduled for a March 26, 2009.
While doing the
surgery my team of doctors found out that the tumor was so compacted in there
that it was actually FOUR times the size it appeared on the MRI just two days
prior to the surgery. Dr.Delashaw came back with updates..."Remember how I
told you that you had a 70% chance of not getting pregnant without fertility
(hopefully that works) well...because of the size and damage to the pituitary
we are only giving you 10% chance at pregnancy." I thought the painful
words in his office hurt....this; this was pain I hadn't felt before!
A week later I was released
from the hospital and headed home. It took six weeks to get to the point that I
could be up and moving around without feeling like I would faint.
Can I just take a
second to tell you about the amazing man that was by my side start to finish
and is still here today.
Josh and I had only
been dating two months when I got the call that I had a brain tumor. He was at
every appointment I had and never once let me go through this alone. When I
went in for surgery we had been dating for eight months and that man, he drove
me the almost two hour drive to OHSU at 3:30 in the morning to be there with me
while I underwent 7 hours of surgery. He stayed with me in the hospital and
when I came home, he arranged for me to stay at his parents. I love them dearly
and at that time I could not be alone AT ALL for two weeks. I had to have someone
close by around the clock while I got through the first two weeks out of the hospital.
Josh, his parents and his brother all
took shifts taking care of me. Without them I would of needed to stay at the
hospital another two weeks. I’m so thankful to each of them for taking such
great care of me and being so willing! Josh was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and a true gift
from God!
I wanted to marry
him at that point but bless my husband’s sweet soul he waited another year and
a half before popping the question because he was waiting for the
"perfect" time and place. But October 15, 2010, that was an amazing
day! That evening was when he asked me to marry him and never once have I
thought that he didn’t love me. This man of mine, he is very sure about the
decisions he makes before making them. As much as I wanted the ring years
prior, I’m so glad it came when it did. I had never been surer of anything then
I was when I said YES to him. I could not be happier, blessed and truly
GRATEFUL that God sent Josh to me and that Josh picked me to be his wife! Josh
and I got married May 21, 2011 and everyday has been an adventure together!
Shortly after
getting married we decided to start trying for a baby! We knew that the road
ahead was probably going to be long and didn’t want to wait forever. I was still having some small health issues
that stemmed from the brain surgery two years prior and were advised to hold
off on pregnancy because my hormones were so messed up that the chance of
getting pregnant was almost impossible
and it could cause more health issues if we did. The next month my doctor ran
the same tests again and what changed in one month, I’ll never forget. We got a
phone calling explaining that she doesn’t understand how it happened but my
hormones look PERFECT and that we should try right away for a little one! HECK
YES!!!!!! I fell to my knees thanking God for his healing! Knowing that the
unanswered questions and how did this happen only came from one who is GRATER,
Healer, Awesome & Powerful! I know fully in my heart that God healed my
body and made it possible for me to get pregnant and two months later we were!
WE WERE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!!!
I thought to myself,
HA 10%, see God is bigger and healed me. September 25, 2012 Elliana was born
and our miracle baby was in our arms. Our hearts overjoyed and thanksgiving
poured out to God for His great gift! We could not love her more and everyday
our hearts cry out to god as we thank him for giving us this child! For each
day, each moment, each memory to create and each breath she takes.
Now here we are,
married for almost four years, a family of three with the most amazing little
girl that is growing up too fast and love that can’t stop. How? Because we
serve the MOST AMAZING GOD, A God who loves us beyond our comprehension and has
designed us for a purpose. We are here by His grace alone and with hearts that
want to serve Him.
Love you Jenny, Can’t wait to talk
again soon!
XOXO, Katie
